Whilst having my early morning coffee today at Pret around 08:30 a suspicious package, a suitcase was reported to the police. The shop manager acted extremely well and called the professionals, “The Police”
A blue people carrier with darkened windows and blue lights turned up containing Starsky and Hutch, 1 female officer and 1 male officer suitably dressed in protective vests and hand cuffs on their belts, all the gear and no idea comes to mind.
The two clowns, sorry, I mean officers, Britain’s first line of defence against terrorism, god help us, rushed in and were directed to the lone suitcase, a possible Improvised Explosive Device (IED) not to worry, the female clown, sorry I mean officer, moved towards the case picked it up and shuck it, were upon myself and another ex-military person looked on in horror. These two idiots, though young, were clearly not aware of the gravity and the lives they placed in danger. If this suitcase was an IED this note would not be written as i would be residing with a higher being along with pinkie and perky the two idiots dressed as police officers.
In London there will be numerous hoaxes and callouts for the police to attend and assess, I truly empathise with them but I can’t find the methodology for shaking a suspicious package or case in advice or text books I’ve ever read and I’ve read many whilst in the military and Security Industry, below is an idea of what you should do but I guess it doesn’t apply to the Mets finest:
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